A person with learning disabilities may be frustrated about the way a partner provides assistance by feeling stifled when too much is routinely provided, which may give rise to the perception that he or she is stupid or being treated like a child.
Also, he or she may feel unfairly blamed for relationship problems, such as not listening or not trying hard enough, which may be due to his/her learning disabilities.
Shane wrote to me with his experiences with Non Verbal Learning Disability (NVLD).
He was hoping we could help him work through some of his challenges – particularly with his application of body language.
Lately I’ve realized that many times I struggle to identify my own feelings, and even break them down.
If I could figure out a) what my feelings are, b) why I have them, and c) how to deal with a problem, I’d feel more in control of the things that happen in social situations.
Why did I make so many stupid mistakes while driving that I sometimes feared for my life, why did I have so much trouble maneuvering the car into a carwash that I swore off automatic carwashes and stopped going to that place out of shame, why did I have so much trouble maneuvering the car, period, why did I get so lost while driving even on roads I thought I knew, why did I study the map over and over yet still go the wrong way, why did I have to give up driving just to restore my shattered self-esteem?
Those with NVLD can often misinterpret non-verbal communication.
They may understand enough, but fail to properly formulate appropriate responses.
Their capabilities can vary widely from day to day without any predictable patterns or identifiable causes.
Since learning disabilities often are not visible, both partners may have difficulty understanding and accepting the limitations they create.